When Teens Start to Go Their Own Way

Show Notes

On this episode, Nicole and Rakhi discuss how to manage when family members, especially our children, fall away from or are resistant to the faith. Under the guidance of St. Monica, they give encouragement to guard against despair, to provide loving support as the loved one finds their own expression of faith, and to let go of control and resentment.

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(1:33) Rakhi and Nicole discuss their favorite prayers for their children.

(3:20) The hosts discuss the upcoming Memorial of St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine, who is a patroness for parents as they worry about their children.

(5:00) Rakhi says we can’t force our children to believe but we can create an environment where the Holy Spirit can work.

(6:18) Rakhi says that when children reject pieces or all of the faith, it can feel like a rejection of us.

(7:50) Nicole brings up how we remain invitational and support our children who have fallen away or are resistant. Rakhi says we must first guard against despair.

(9:50) Rakhi says that it’s ok to let your children know you are disappointed if they go another way with their faith but it’s important to still make them feel welcome and loved.

(11:54) Rakhi notes that some rejection of the family structure is a normal part of development and creating your own identity. She says others may be better representations of Christ in those moments.

(14:58) Nicole cautions against long monologues or lectures when children are resistant to faith activities.

(15:55) Rakhi suggests asking about why your child may be resistant so as to not make assumptions and be able to help them create their own relationship and expression of their lived faith.

(17:13) Nicole recounts a quote from a bishop who shared that Mass is not the only way that some family members can participate in the life of the Church and have a relationship with Jesus.

(22:35) Rakhi acknowledges that we desire to control out of the goodness of our hearts to minimize pain and suffering for our children. Nicole says that St. Monica let go of her desire to do things a certain way to let her son find his way.

(23:55) Rakhi encourages befriending St. Monica if you are experiencing family members stepping away from the faith. Nicole says the weekly challenge is to call to mind someone who is distant from the faith and pray for them, and Rakhi says to offer up your resentment and let it go.